Monday, September 1, 2008

Hearts - Happy & Heavy

I keep starting this post, deleting it, and starting again. Too many thoughts are swirling around that won't form cohesive sentences, and I've been too tired to chase then down!

Yesterday I finally gave up and found the puzzle quiz. Now that was certainly enlightening!

In the fun category, school kicked off to a smooth start here last week. And for my girl, that meant volleyball tryouts after school Wed-Fri. (Last year she was heartbroken that she didn't make the team, but she also learned a sweet lesson about God's sovereignty when she later discovered it worked out for her best.) She told me after the first day of tryouts that she didn't expect to make it this year either. Her nemesis has been that pesky overhand serve. She just never has been able to give it enough power to get that ball over the net more than just occasionally.

In tryouts on Friday, she got 7 overhand serves over the net. SEVEN. I do believe there was some divine intervention and some divine numbering at work! At least once every day on this long weekend she has smiled (or squealed) and said, "I made the volleyball team!"

It's nice to have some cheer in the house. Because things are not so cheery with my mom. Today she was discharged from the hospital and transported back to what was to be the short-term nursing home. However, it is likely she will not leave there, and tomorrow we will take steps to involve Hospice. After 3 hospitalizations in 5 weeks, it is apparent that her body is rapidly giving out.

The nurse in me saw it coming, recognizes it, and accepts it. Yet it is hard to watch my mom's decline and to wonder when and how her last moments will be. To pray that God will minimize her suffering and take her home soon and yet feel the internal conflict that such a prayer brings.

There have been difficulties in our relationship and unhealthy emotional and spiritual issues in her life for years. But she's my mother. I've never known life without her.

How thankful I am that I do not walk this road alone.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. II Corinthians 1:3-4


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3girlsmom said...

Congrats to your daughter! And I'm praying for you and your mom. Blessings and peace to both of you.

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

Oh Linda..."I've never known life without her"...praying for you, friend, and all that entails.

Chris @ Come to the Table said...

I am so happy for your daughter. I have been down those paths with my own kids.

I am praying for you this week as you walk this path with your mom. I pray that God would grant you peace as you pray for her and walk this path.


Xandra@Heart-of-Service said...

I am so proud of your girl! That is great news, and proof that no matter what happens with you mom, life will go on with all of it's triumphs and defeats.

I can't fathom what this is like for you and your family to make a decision about hospice, but I am praying for you and I am here for you if you need me.


A Stone Gatherer said...

(((hug))) Linda I so understand where you are coming from! I'm so sorry about your mother! I will be praying for you as you enter this stage! Wish I could give you a hug for real. From one understanding woman to another! God Bless!

Anonymous said...

I bet that did bring some joy to the house when your daughter made the team. :)
As for your mom, I can relate, it is hard to watch them grow old and suffer so much. My mom has had several medical issues recently and it is hard to watch. And after all, they are your mom. May God grant you wisdom and emotional peace. Praying for you and your mom!

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

I can so relate to your daughter's experience, even the difficulty with the overhand serve. All of my friends were lifiting weights, and I wasn't.

I'm so sorry about your mom. I can look into my future when I read this post, and it's so very sad. You are right to cherish her in spite of any history. Blessings on both of you. As I think of you throughout the day, I'll be praying.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you and your mom, friend.


Leah said...

First of all, YAY for your girl! That is an awesome feeling and awesome accomplishment! I was a sports girl myself and I learned so many lessons, many not pertaining to my sport. I hope she continues to love it.

I feel so very sad for you and will be praying for comfort for you and your mother. I haven't crossed that bridge, but I know the weight must be awful to bare at times. You are wise to remember HE is always with you and cares for you.

Hugs my blogger friend!

Suzanne said...

Praying for you, Linda, and for your mom... as hospice enters the scene. "Blessed in His sight is the death of His loved ones" (Psalm 116:15). ~Suzanne

Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife said...

I'm so glad K made the team! That's so awesome..

And I'm praying for you as you walk this hard road with your mom..

Love you my friend..