Hearts - Happy & Heavy

I keep starting this post, deleting it, and starting again. Too many thoughts are swirling around that won't form cohesive sentences, and I've been too tired to chase then down!

Yesterday I finally gave up and found the puzzle quiz. Now that was certainly enlightening!

In the fun category, school kicked off to a smooth start here last week. And for my girl, that meant volleyball tryouts after school Wed-Fri. (Last year she was heartbroken that she didn't make the team, but she also learned a sweet lesson about God's sovereignty when she later discovered it worked out for her best.) She told me after the first day of tryouts that she didn't expect to make it this year either. Her nemesis has been that pesky overhand serve. She just never has been able to give it enough power to get that ball over the net more than just occasionally.

In tryouts on Friday, she got 7 overhand serves over the net. SEVEN. I do believe there was some divine intervention and some divine numbering at work! At least once every day on this long weekend she has smiled (or squealed) and said, "I made the volleyball team!"

It's nice to have some cheer in the house. Because things are not so cheery with my mom. Today she was discharged from the hospital and transported back to what was to be the short-term nursing home. However, it is likely she will not leave there, and tomorrow we will take steps to involve Hospice. After 3 hospitalizations in 5 weeks, it is apparent that her body is rapidly giving out.

The nurse in me saw it coming, recognizes it, and accepts it. Yet it is hard to watch my mom's decline and to wonder when and how her last moments will be. To pray that God will minimize her suffering and take her home soon and yet feel the internal conflict that such a prayer brings.

There have been difficulties in our relationship and unhealthy emotional and spiritual issues in her life for years. But she's my mother. I've never known life without her.

How thankful I am that I do not walk this road alone.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. II Corinthians 1:3-4

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