Thursday, May 8, 2008

Lessons from Mom

With Mother's Day coming up this Sunday, I wanted to share with you a few things I learned from my mom. I'm sure you've seen this before, but these are classic Mom-isms! Unfortunately, a few have probably come out of my mouth as well!


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you
into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Author Unknown


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sara said...

that is so funny. I have seen that before, but enjoyed reading it again! the sad thing is.....I think I have said some of those things!! :)

Becoming Me said...

I haven't seen these before so I actually thought you wrote them until I came to the bottom. Very funny read. I loved this one most of all :
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

While my father taught me to find my voice, my mother taught me to find my silence. And though I rather prefer my voice, I am learning to love my silence.

Something about the "whispers of God" and my silence seem to go together.

Thank you for sharing these treasured thoughts. It reminds me that I'd better get in gear to honor my mom this Sunday. I'm new to your blog, but look forward to my return.

Blessings and peace~elaine

Natalie said...

That is too funny and too true! I was making a mental list of how many I heard growing up and how many I hope I don't say to my son. :) Yeah, right. It gets in our blood and when the moments right the words just spat out! Thanks for the laugh this morning!

Xandra said...

Oh my! Number 12 bites me in the behind more often than I like to admit! Happy Mother's Day!!


Anonymous said...

I love this! I'm using it Saturday at a banquet.


Lisa writes... said...

Funny stuff...and speaking of irony, isn't it funny how much we become our mothers even when we determine we won't?

Genny said...

Thanks for the laugh! I loved the osmosis one...

The Preacher's Wife said...

I personally love #12 to the 100th degree...

A Stone Gatherer said...

Oh I absolutely love that! Thanks for the laugh!

Sarah Markley said...

I love it, Linda! Thanks for commenting on my blog today! Great post.