Flashback Friday - Show Me The Money!

How was money handled in your family when you were growing up? Were your parents savers or spenders? What are examples of ways they saved or splurged? Who paid the bills? What, if anything, did they teach you about money? Did you have an allowance? Whether received as an allowance or through other means such as gifts, when you had your "own" money, were there restrictions on how you spent it? Were you paid for making certain grades on your report card? Did your parents tithe or give money to the church on a regular basis? What about other charities? How old were you when you got your first checking account or credit card? How has the way you were raised impacted your handling of financial issues today?

Like many who grew up in the time of the Great Depression, my parents were very frugal. Money was carefully budgeted and deliberately spent. My folks had a very traditional marriage, so my dad paid the bills, balanced the checkbook, and told my mom how much cash to get at the bank each week. (After he died in 1996, I vividly recall sitting at the dining room table with my mom as I tried to explain balancing and bill-paying. Although overwhelmed and doubtful of her abilities, my mom put whole-hearted effort into it and managed virtually all of her affairs, including quarterly taxes, for almost five years.)

To paraphrase an old Barbara Mandrell song, my parents could say "I was recycling when recycling wasn't cool!" Many things were used and reused repeatedly. My dad kept nails and screws and other tiny bits of hardware in old baby food jars and orange juice cans. We reused wrapping paper; I remember an unusually big ugly roll of Christmas wrapping paper with ornaments on it that we called the "ball paper". I bet we used that roll for ten years, and I was so glad when the last of it finally disappeared! It was the same with gift boxes. You always knew that whatever the box said it was, that was not what it contained!

While my parents were careful with their money, I'm grateful that they considered many things a priority and worth spending money. Tithing was unquestioningly done. My missionary sister and I both had glasses (and eventually, contacts) and braces. And I was extremely bowlegged as a tot and wore ugly, brown, corrective shoes until I finished the sixth grade. We had to go all the way to the Houston Medical Center to buy them each time my feet grew. I hated them with a passion and struggled as a result of the teasing I got about wearing "boy shoes", but I am so grateful that they deemed that a necessity.

We never had an allowance as kids. The only thing any of us ever got paid for was mowing the grass when we were a little older, except for my sister painting the garage one summer. And several years in the fall when leaves covered the ground I would spend an afternoon raking to surprise my dad when he got home from work, and occasionally he gave me a quarter for doing that if I hinted enough! That was the only money I had, except for the occasional birthday dimes that relatives sent me and change we collected from turning in soda bottles for the nickel redemption!

One frustration I did have with my mom was her control over my money. When I was old enough to mow and then babysit and then get my first job. I still had to ask before I spent it, and she would often say no. Her intention was that I not spend it on something she deemed to be foolish and later regret it, but I think I would have learned that lesson better if I had actually experienced the consequences of my bad choice! I decided way back then that I would let my kids spend their money as they wished, and I have kept that promise to myself!

We absolutely did not get paid a single penny for grades. It was expected that we would do well - or at least the best we could. My children don't get money for grades either; we wanted them to learn the intrinsic reward of doing well in school.

I got my first checking account when I was sixteen and working at Sears. Back then, the best "starter" credit cards were Palais Royal (part of the Beall's chain) and Sears, so those were the first (and only) ones I got in my late teens. Fortunately, I have never struggled with credit card debt; to me (and my man), a credit card is simply a convenience and it gets paid completely each month. I can't stand the idea of paying all that interest!

As much as I didn't like my parents' frugality as I was growing up, I was very grateful when the time came for my mom to move to assisted living that my dad had so carefully invested. They were never rich, but he wisely planned for their later years.


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