In the early days of contemporary Christian music (30 plus years ago!), Dallas Holm was a popular singer and composers. Of course, Rise Again is arguably his most familiar classic. But he had other songs that were also well-known.
Here's one that I haven't heard in many years but have always loved. It's a beautiful reassurance that, no matter what happens, we are never out of God's loving care.
I'VE NEVER BEEN OUT OF HIS CARE Words & Music by Dallas Holm
The eyes of God are upon me, He sees everything I do. The arms of God are around me, They keep me safe and secure.
And He knows where I am Every hour of every day He knows each thought I think He knows each word that I might say. And although there've been times I stepped out of His will I've never been out of His care.
This changing world alarms me, With war, with sin, with strife. But my loving Father charms me, With joy, with peace, and with life.
(Woohoo! I'm so thrilled for Joannie Rochette and her bronze medal!)
Words are such fun. And it can be hilarious when their placement has an unintended meaning. One of my daily must-reads is author Angela Hunt's blog. This week she's been sharing some headlines and article excerpts that make one wonder if copy editors are now extinct. Some of my favorites are below.
Remedial math, anyone?!
Your one-stop shop!
Wonder how much they charge for this!
The definition of denial!
Now I know where to wear all my old bridesmaid dresses!
I wonder whose side he'll represent!
That's some powerful paint!
And I don't remember whose blog I saw this on, but I thought it must be rigged. Until I did a Google search and found the actual article in the newspaper online! (Besides, a child's honesty is funnier than anything an adult could make up!)
In the article, the boy says:
“I wouldn’t do it again,” the second-grader said as he spun nickels on a tabletop while his sister, Meghan, related the story. “She’s been a pain this week.”
I received an item for review a couple of weeks ago that I barely had time to look through before my girl confiscated it for her own use! And that is perfectly fine with me!
Thomas Nelson Publishers has released a new "Biblezine" called Revolve 2010. This bright and attractive publication contains the entire New Testament (NCV). Interspersed throughout are all sorts of teen-oriented features: "interviews" with Biblical personalities, challenges and encouragements, quizzes, music (including free downloads!) and information for healthy living in both mind and body. Written by those with their pulses on today's generation of teens, this Biblezine is chock-full of goodies. Grab a copy for your teen to read.
ABOUT THE BOOK With its sharp look and relevant articles, Revolve 2010 is a must-have for teenage girls! This 6th edition includes new and updated sidebars, features, and images! With over 1 million copies sold, this New Testament continues showing teen girls that the Bible is relevant to their lives.
Features include:
* The truth about guys from Chad Eastham (featured speaker on Revolve Tour and author of The Truth About Guys) * Behind the scenes of The Word of Promise: The Next Generation, with stars Jordin Sparks, Cody Linley, and Corbin Bleu * Celeb Drama-Trauma * Q&A with Jenna Lucado * Quizzes aimed to increase self-awareness and point readers to Scripture * Free music downloads from Group1Crew, Stellar Kart, and Britt Nicole
Since 2005, more than 215,000 girls have attended a Revolve Tour event. For 2008-2009, the Tour has expanded to 16 cities and expects to reach 150,000 girls this year alone.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their Blogger Review program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
For more than a decade, Author Sandra D. Bricker lived in Los Angeles. While writing in every spare moment, she worked as a personal assistant and publicist to some of daytime television's hottest stars. When her mother became ill in Florida, she walked away from that segment of her life and moved across the country to take on a new role: Caregiver.
One of Sandie's passions revolves around the rights of animals. She's been involved in fundraising for Lost Angels Animal Rescue for several years now; in fact, a portion of the proceeds of Love Finds You in Holiday, Florida will go to help the non-profit group with their expenses. And Lost Angels paid her back in a big way: They brought a free-spirited Collie named Sophie into her life after the loss of her 15-year companion Caleb.
It was her 8th novel that opened the door to finding her way as a writer.
In Sandie's words: "I guess most people would see my career as a publicist as a sort of dream job. But giving it up turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me!" she declares. "Not only was I given the gift of getting to know my mother as an adult woman before she passed away, but I was also afforded the blessing of being able to focus completely on my dream of a writing career. I'm a Christian woman, first and foremost, so it was a bit of a dream-come-true when Summerside Press chose me as one of two authors to launch their new Love Finds You line."
ABOUT THE BOOK
Olivia Wallace has a birthday curse . . . or so she thinks. It was a broken heart on her 16th, a car accident on her 21st, pneumonia on her 30th, and a fall down a flight of stairs on her 35th. There were Ohio blizzards on her 38th, 39th, and 40th; and six days before her 45th, she lost the love of her life to a heart attack. Numbing grief stole that birthday and a couple more to follow and, on the morning of her 48th birthday, she received the call she’d dreaded ever since losing her mom so many years ago…she was diagnosed with stage-3 ovarian cancer. The doctors didn’t hold out a lot of hope, but Liv survived and maintained her faith. Months of surgeries and chemotherapy and radiation treatments followed.
But now, as her 50th birthday creeps up the icy Ohio path toward her, her hair has grown back, her energy level is up, and she is officially cancer free. It makes her nervous. After everything she’s gone through, Liv hates the idea of driving on icy roads and returning to work as an O.R. nurse in a local Cincinnati hospital.
Her best friend Hallie knows just the thing to break Liv out of the winter doldrums, while providing a safe haven of warmth, sunshine, and a time to regroup: a holiday in the Florida sunshine!
MY THOUGHTS This was such a fun read! Poor Liv - even her minor birthdays seem toinvolve some sort of disaster. And this one coming up is a B-I-G one! I could definitely relate to Live. . .desiring to change and be spontaneous yet scared silly to make that move! This story is a delightful blend of humor, romance, faith, and second chances.
Since the Olympics are still going on, I have to weigh in on that before I get to the Random. When they first added Ice Dancing to the Olympics, I didn't care for it. But this year, I absolutely loved it. And although I really liked the USA's Davis/White and rooted for them, I was excited that Canada's Virtue/Moir won the Gold. They are so very talented and graceful. Their 1000 watt smiles were contagious! I was disappointed that the USA's Belbin/Agosto only got fourth. And not just because they are home folks -- I just preferred their style and performances over Russia's Domnina/Shabalin.
Now we're in the midst of the Women's competition. And my heart goes out to Canada's Joannie Rochette whose mom died suddenly last Saturday. I hope she has a great event.
And can I just say how aggravating it was that last night, right before Korea's Kim Yu-Na skated, our station lost the signal. So my girl and I, who were watching together, didn't see her, Joannie Rochette, or USA's Rachael Flatt skate. I could only look at the results online. I'm glad it was just the first night and not the free skate! And it wasn't even a problem to stay up to watch it because the kids have a late start today because of the snow.
1. Have you ever fired a gun or shot a bow and arrow?
When I was a Girl Scout leader, we did archery at a camp. And years and years ago we spent Thanksgiving at one of the in-laws' extended family's home in the country and did the clay pigeon thing. I think I only did it once or twice.
I'm dangerous enough with a glue gun!
2. Do you know where your childhood best friends are?
If by "childhood" you mean elementary/junior high, no. But I do know where my closest high school friends are.
3. Do you usually arrive early, late, or on time?
If I'm not 10 minutes early, I'm late.
4. Are you more of a New York or California type?
Actually, I'm more of a Texas gal. And I know this is your response to that answer:
5. Do you have a special ring tone?
Casting Crowns' Until The Whole World Hears
6. What is your favorite type of chip?
7. Best comedy you've ever seen is ....
I never saw him in person but Victor Borge was hilarious. So is Mark Lowry.
8. Have you ever cut your own hair? To quote Dr. Phil, "How'd that work for ya?"
Never. I'm way too chicken.
9. If you were going to have an extreme makeover, would you rather it be about your house or your personal self?
My house. Because of course I'm so beautiful I don't need a makeover.
Yeah, right.
Decor is so not my thing. Nor is gardening. I'd love to have someone come in and landscape the front yard and put in flowers and shrubs that are just right for the climate and the house.
10. Are you allergic to anything?
Penicillin.
And housekeeping.
11. Why is it so hard to change?
Because we like the familiar. We fear the unknown. Plus, change requires discipline and hard work. And we have this thing called a sin nature that is allergic to that.
12. One last question dedicated to February love: CS Lewis said, "To love is to be vulnerable." Please share one example of that assertion or share any thought you'd like to about this topic.
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. (I John 3:16)
It's been snowing off and on this morning but mostly just raining with some sleet. But when it started coming down relatively hard and had such big flakes I had to run outside and take some pictures! It has already lessened to a much finer mist of snow.
I am an organizer. A planner. I really like for my ducks to be in a row, and it makes me crazy when they start milling about uncontrollably.
This creates a dilemma at times when my planning intersects my faith and patience in waiting on God to intervene.
Case in point: My missionary sister returns to the USA this weekend for a time of Medical Leave. Which means I have been trying to locate a place for her to live and a vehicle to use, preferably at no cost or minimal cost to her. (The IMB pays missionaries based on the economy of the country in which they serve; my sister is in a third-world South American country.) Few churches have missionary residences any more; the one she has typically used during her Stateside Assignments (previously called furlough) is occupied for the foreseeable future.
Apartments quickly get expensive. And the uncertainty of having an open-ended timeframe - she could be here 2 months or 6 months or more - makes it really difficult to find something affordable and appropriate. Then there's the whole aspect of basic furniture and a car.
So as the last 3 weeks have passed and time barrels toward this weekend, I have gotten a bit more stressed out. I am perfectly fine with God showing up at the last minute with provision. I would just like Him to tell me He's gonna show up! But alas, while He's never late, He's also never early. And since He created the ducks, He can certainly get them lined up correctly.
So I wait and wait and wait. . . .
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him Psalm 37:7
I waited patiently for the LORD; He turned to me and heard my cry. Psalm 40:1
I wait for You, O LORD; You will answer, O Lord my God Psalm 38:15
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him." The LORD is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. Lamentations 3:24-26
Somehow it doesn't surprise me that there are no Scripture verses containing the word ducks!
Best-selling author Christine Lynxwiler lives with her husband and two precious daughters in the foothills of the beautiful Ozark Mountains. Christine has been writing toward publication since 1997. She sold her first story in 2001 to Barbour Publishing. Since then she's written and sold fourteen Christian romance novels and novellas including the four novels that were included in the best-selling book Arkansas, which has sold over 150,000 copies worldwide. Her novel, Forever Christmas, ranked number 12 on the Christian Bookseller's Association Bestseller List in January, 2009.
A four-time winner of the prestigious American Christian Romance Writers/American Christian Fiction Writers' Book of the Year Award, Christine recently signed a new six-book contract with Barbour Publishing bringing her total of contracted books to twenty. Besides, Along Came a Cowboy, her latest novels include Promise Me Always and Forever Christmas. She also writes mysteries with two of her sisters, Sandy Gaskin and Jan Reynolds. Their book, Alibis in Arkansas, is currently available nationwide, as well as in many bookstores. The first book in Christine's new McCord Sisters series, TheReluctant Cowgirl released in April, 2009 and was a TOP PICK in Romantic Times Magazine.
When Christine isn't at her computer, you'll often find her, with her husband, co-coaching their daughters' softball team, kayaking down beautiful Spring River with her family, or getting together with friends from church.
ABOUT THE BOOK
Elyse McCord always plays it safe─a fact she blames on being the biological daughter of a modern-day Bonnie and Clyde. Even in the security of her adoptive family the McCords, the timid dog whisperer keeps her guard up with strangers. But when she discovers a dog being horribly mistreated, shy Elyse transforms into a mighty warrior and charges into a perilous situation, not only risking her life but also her heart
Reporter Andrew Stone has been fearless since the day his wife was shot and killed three years ago. He has one mission─use hid Texas Ranger upbringing to find her murderer and clear his own name of any involvement. When he sees a beautiful brunette in the hands of a pistol-welding maniac, he’s forced to abandon his covert surveillance and go to the rescue. The danger surrounding Andrew doesn’t scare him at all, but the awakening of his dormant heart terrifies him.
When painful pasts collide, the explosion is deafening. Can Andrew and Elyse pick up the pieces and go forward together? Or will they forever live with haunting memories, unable to forgive, unable to love?
MY THOUGHTS: I enjoyed The Reluctant Cowgirl , the first of this series, and this one was good as well. And it's not so much a series as multiple books about various members of a family. Each one stands alone, although it's obviously fun to read the stories behind the other family members. Suspense, drama, and romance are blended expertly in this well-crafted novel.
Yesterday was absolutely bea-you-ti-ful, sunny and with a high of 77. I love spring! Except it is still winter. I even told a friend "This gives me spring fever, but I know the cold weather isn't over."
This morning I looked at the forecast, and sure enough, tomorrow we are supposed to plummet to the low 30's with rain and a slight possibility of the "wintry mix".
But I've seen a glimpse of spring and it makes me smile.
Sports. The word encompasses a host of visual images. Children playing T-ball or chasing a soccer ball. A friendly game of hoops at the gym. College & professional games. The Olympics. And on and on ad infinitum.
For some, sports is not just a mild hobby. For them, Sports with a capital S is almost synonymous with Life! You can insult lots of things, but don't mess with their team!
Is there a difference between how Christians view sports and competition as opposed to the rest of the world? Should there be?
Shirl James Hoffman's new book, Good Game: Christianity and the Culture of Sports addresses this obsession with sports. This is a fascinating book with much to ponder. I urge believers to thoughtfully read this and take a look at their attitude toward sports. This will not be a popular book, and will likely make some folks angry or, at the least, defensive. But for those who read it with an open and reflective spirit, it will transform how they view the athletic competitions of our day.
I don't wish to open the debate here regarding the pros and cons of sports. I've been on both "sides" of the issue: I grew up in a sports-loving family and I'm married to a man who not only doesn't care for sports, but is actually disgusted with the preeminence that sports have in our society. (Just last night on the way home from a school choir event, my girl shared that one of the most talented singers, who is also very athletic, will have to quit choir next school year because the coaches won't let her split her schedule and do both volleyball and choir. It often seems that sports incite an "all or nothing" mentality.) But I do want to share a few excerpts that resonated with me.
When religion runs up against sport, it is usually religion that gets shoved out of the way. (From the Preface, p. xii)
Hoffman details the history of the Christian response to sport from the days of the early church to modern times. At various times in history, the "church" frowned upon athletics because of the mind-set needed and the potential for obsession. [Nineteenth century churchmen examined] the recreation-amusement dichotomy. . . .They clearly understood that games were enjoyable [and that] enjoyment came only as players approached games with a certain seriousness, surrender of will, and acceptance of an alternate reality represented by the rules and customs of the game. For early Protestants, this risked immoderation, and for them, the price for participation was simply too high. (Chapter 3, p. 97)
As the years progressed, the church not only accepted sports but embraced it, creating a new "folk theology" -- which a Sports Illustrated senior writer in the 1970s called "Sportianity" -- a concoction of triumphal evangelism blended with worldly Darwinian competition, and crafted to appeal to those for whom a love of athletics frame their lives. . . .It is taught with remarkable consistency to high school, college, and professional athletes [and] also explains the meaning of sports to thousands of ministers, laypeople, and the religious press. . . .In the theological haze that is Sportianity, broken helmets become stars in the Christian's crown, and Christ becomes the author of brutality. (From the Introduction, pp. 14-15)
The author also takes a look at character, and how sport impacts that. He cites several incidents where an athlete or coach acted in a manner that had negative repercussions for his/her team. [One] act was decent and honest, but the same gesture displayed in the course of daily living would have drawn little attention. . . .Quite frankly, we don't expect coaches to act in ways that are detrimental to their and their teams' self-interest even if it is the right thing to do. . . .Honesty, especially when it is costly, is dispensable in sports. [A golfer, who penalized himself for something that no one else had noticed, said] he was simply being honest. "You might as well praise someone for not robbing a bank," he said. (From Chapter 8, pp 201-204)
Despite what the traditions of sport may tell us, what is truly highest and finest about God's people is not their capacity to sacrifice and work hard in order to bask in the rewards of long-coveted goals but their capacity, when the right moment comes, to give up those rewards willingly in order to do the right thing. (Chapter 8, p. 218)
The above is obviously just a drop in the bucket of information and suggestions in this book. It is packed much to consider, regardless of your current stance on sports and competition. BTW, Shirl J. Hoffman is clear that he is not a sport-hater.
I have never fallen out of love with sport. . . .I suppose I do hate what we have allowed sport to become, the feeble uses to which we try to put it, and the ugly social contexts in which we insist on inserting it; I do hate its distortions and abuses. But my love of the "essence of the sport experience" should not be in doubt. (Introduction, p. 22)
I strongly encourage you to get a copy of this book.
Shirl James Hoffman has also crafted an essay Death, Injury, and Risk Taking in the Winter Games: Begging for a Christian Response which discusses Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili’s fatal collision as well as the danger of continually pushing the envelope in Olympic sports. Rather than make this already wordy post even longer by including that essay here, I urge you to go visit my bloggy friend Kim at Window to My World and read it there.
PUBLICIST INFO ABOUT THE BOOK & AUTHOR: Dallas/ Ft. Worth, TX—Like most Americans, Christians love sports. They love team rivalries, the sports analogy/ sermon illustration, the thrill of playing, Christian celebrity athletes and even the church-hosted Super Bowl party complete with a five-minute half-time devotional. These are sacred institutions in Christian life; their prominence is seldom questioned. Yet, since 77 percent of evangelicals believe that the mass media is “hostile to their moral and spiritual values,” one wonders why evangelicals haven’t also sensed that hostility in media-bloated competitive sport contests. Christians frequently voice criticism about violence in video games, but violence in sports such as football and hockey, which involves their children more intimately and dangerously, is rarely examined.
Author Shirl Hoffman, Ed. D, believes it’s time for Christians to ask the hard questions. “The institution of sport has been so intricately woven into the fabric of our culture, and thus into the Christian culture, that criticism of sport or suggestions that sports be given a closer look often are viewed as cranky complaints by prigs who don’t know good fun when they see it,” Hoffman says. “The person who dares to ask whether the competitive ethic as celebrated in modern sports might conflict in important ways with the Christian worldview risks being labeled a ‘sport hater.’” In his new book, Good Game: Christianity and the Culture of Sports, Hoffman draws attention to both the pitfalls and the spiritual opportunities missed by the carte blanche acceptance of current sports culture by Christians, particularly evangelicals.
The main factor driving the church’s unwillingness to cast a critical eye on the culture of sports is the rise of what sports writer Frank Deford called “sportianity,” a concoction of triumphal evangelism blended with worldly Darwinian competition and crafted to appeal to those for whom a love of athletics frames their lives. This folk theology combines locker room slogans, Old Testament allusions to religious wars, athletically slanted doctrines of assertiveness and sacrifice and a cult of masculinity, backed up by cherry-picked Bible verses pre-screened to ensure they don’t conflict with sport’s reigning orthodoxies. The fundamentals of “sportianity” have been rationalized, systematized and vigorously promoted by sport-evangelism organizations, coaches at every level, ministers, laypeople and the religious press. In fact, there are few alternative systems of thinking about sports and faith in the evangelical community—until now.
Hoffman is an internationally recognized authority in the fields of kinesiology, physical education and the relationship between faith and sports. He has taught at every level of education, coached college basketball and was a gifted high school and college athlete. As he penned Good Game, Hoffman knew his slaying of several sacred cows would likely draw the animosity of some readers. He challenges Christians to thoughtfully consider topics like:
The Killer Instinct—what is the true cost of competition?
Building and Sacking the Temple—why Christians should avoid violent sports…including football!
Sport and the Sub-Christian Values—do competitive sports really develop character?
Touchdowns and Slam Dunks for Jesus—how sports evangelism alters the gospel
Prayers Out of Bounds—why the athletic field is not the place for prayer
Hoffman contends that in popular sports, Christians have created a kind of sanctuary for themselves in which they are not expected to think or act like Christians, as if both athletes and spectators enjoy a special exemption from the fundamental teaching of Jesus (i.e. love your enemies, the first shall be last, etc.). As a body of believers, the church has failed to think about sports analytically. Good Game presents a compelling case to that end, incorporating research many would like to ignore and example after convincing example lifted straight from the sports page. Unless Christians in the athletic and academic communities develop a healthy curiosity about the relationship of sports to faith, they are likely to continue bouncing between two different worlds framed by two different worldviews: the sincere, daily effort to become like Christ and the cut-throat competition of game day.
Shirl J. Hoffman, Ed.D is Professor Emeritus of Kinesiology at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro where he served as head of the department for 10 years. Hoffman has been a frequent contributor to the national dialogue on issues in kinesiology and higher education. He is a former editor of Quest and former associate editor of the Chronicle for Physical Education in Higher Education. He was named Distinguished Scholar by National Association for Kinesiology and Physical Education in Higher Education (NAKPEHE). He gave the Alderson Lecture at The University of Texas and the Dudley Sargent Lecture to NAKPEHE. Currently he is a fellow emeritus of the American Academy for Kinesiology and Physical Education, member of the International Association for the Philosophy of Sport and Executive Director of the American Kinesiology Association, an association of over 100 college and university departments of kinesiology across the U.S. and Canada.
Hoffman is editor of the first book Sport and Religion (Human Kinetics, 1992) and has been featured in a number of nationally aired televised documentaries on sport and religion on CBS (“Sport and Ethics”), ESPN (“Time to Pray, Time to Play”), Channel 4 in Britain (“Praying to Win”) and on nationally aired broadcasts on NPR (“A Whole New Ballgame”), BBC, the Canadian Broadcasting Company (“Inside Track”) and various local and regional talk shows.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publicist. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
I remember singing - and loving! - this song in the junior high department at church when I was growing up. It was always fun to split into the two different parts on the chorus.
WONDERFUL GRACE OF JESUS
Wonderful grace of Jesus, Greater than all my sin; How shall my tongue describe it, Where shall its praise begin? Taking away my burden, Setting my spirit free; For the wonderful grace of Jesus reaches me.
REFRAIN: Wonderful the matchless grace of Jesus, Deeper than the mighty rolling sea; Wonderful grace, all sufficient for me, for even me. Broader than the scope of my transgressions, Greater far than all my sin and shame, O magnify the precious Name of Jesus. Praise His Name!
Wonderful grace of Jesus, Reaching to all the lost, By it I have been pardoned, Saved to the uttermost, Chains have been torn asunder, Giving me liberty; For the wonderful grace of Jesus reaches me.
Wonderful grace of Jesus, Reaching the most defiled, By its transforming power, Making him God’s dear child, Purchasing peace and heaven, For all eternity; And the wonderful grace of Jesus reaches me.
Amazingly, only one person besides the pilot was killed yesterday, and only two folks had to be transported to the hospital, when the pilot crashed his plane into a seven-story office building here. As I'm sure most of you have heard, he was an angry, troubled man, and prior to crashing the plane he set fire to his house.
Last night the media were still displaying their brilliant reporting skillz. A reporter at the scene on the evening news informed us that "You can see how blackened the building is."
Um, it's a black building, lady!
* * * * * * *
I passed a truck the other day from a business which will haul your junk away. Their slogan made me laugh:
Satisfaction Guaranteed or twice your junk back!
I imagine that guarantee cuts down on complaints!
* * * * * * *
My MIL sent me a few Maxine cartoons the other day. I was surprised to discover that the cartoonist is a man. Anyway, here are a couple of my favorites:
And since I coordinate our church's Care Ministry, I thought I could make some notecards from this:
Or maybe not. . .!
* * * * * * *
Thrills and Spills seemed to be the theme of these Olympics. In the Women's Alpine Downhill on Wednesday, it was great seeing Lindsey Vonn win her gold medal, but -- ouch! -- there were some painful crashes. And I'm not sure which would be more heartbreaking: to fall right out of the starting gate as one skier did, or to crash just short of the finish line, as several others did.
And in the category "Crazy Sports", those snowboarders are something else. The Men's Half-Pipe event Wednesday night was amazing. Shaun White is incredible. Even after he had won the Gold Medal, he took an optional run - and scored 48.4 of a possible 50! The women are almost as crazy astounding. I cringed when a couple of them didn't clear the top of the half-pipe and fell/slid 22 feet down the icy snow.
And although I don't enjoy the men's figure skating as much as the pairs or the ladies, I thought the performance by the USA's Evan Lysacek was excellent. It's so fun to see the emotion when they make it through their routine successfully. I'm so glad he got the Gold!
It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old...or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!
You never know when I might play a wild card on you!
***Special thanks to Audra Jennings of The B&B Media Group for sending me a review copy.***
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Lisa McKay and her husband, Luke, serve at a thriving church in Alabama. Together they are happily – if not always properly—raising three rowdy boys and one dramatic girl. In addition to being a wife and mom, Lisa is also a popular conference speaker. Visit the author's website.
List Price: $12.99 Paperback: 208 pages Publisher: David C. Cook; New edition (February 1, 2010) Language: English ISBN-10: 1434767264 ISBN-13: 978-1434767264
AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:
My Husband’s Calling is My Calling Too
Many are the plans of a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.—Proverbs 19:21 (NASB)
I once had an interesting conversation with a woman whose husband had enrolled in seminary to prepare for ministry. “He can take classes all he wants, but I didn’t sign up for the preacher’s wife thing,” she said. Since she didn’t believe her husband would actually follow through, she went on to tell me she planned on humoring him until the day his calling affected her. And if that day ever came? Well, she’d just cross that bridge when she came to it.
He is still in school. She is still in denial.
Around that same time I attended a pastor’s wife conference that included a panel discussion at the end. Lined across the stage, five women in different seasons of ministry shared the thing they found most difficult about being married to a minister.
I’ll never forget the response of the youngest woman. She was the mom of toddlers and was obviously distressed. “The hardest thing for me is everyone wanting a piece of my husband and not acknowledging me in the least,” she said. “I feel like the person in the background who is only here to take care of the kids so he can be free to take care of everyone else.”
I was grieved by her raw response. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around that girl and assure her she had it all wrong. That she was an integral part of her husband’s ministry. That her calling in that season was her children. That no amount of public success possibly mattered if her heart and home were in shambles. The sad thing is that I’ve met many more like her in the past fifteen years during my own life as a minister’s wife. If anything, this has intensified my desire to embrace and encourage women whom God has charged with supporting the men He has ordained to proclaim His Word.
The fact that I just typed that last sentence still baffles me. You have no idea how surreal it is for me to be writing this book. There are many of you reading who have been Christians as long as you can remember and always knew you would marry a preacher. Many more of you grew up as the child of a minister and swore you would never marry one yourself, only to find yourself eating your words. Some of you have pursued callings to various vocational ministries and met your mate in college, seminary, etc. Some of you married men who were already serving in the church. However, based on my blog surveys, a lot of your serene lives were turned inside out when your husband experienced God’s call to ministry some point after you were married.
And then on the lunatic fringe are girls like me whose life and marital background weren’t exactly résumé worthy.
A Match Made In Heaven?
My husband, Luke, and I married young. I was a mere eighteen and he a strapping twenty-one. Can I just be honest and tell you there were never two individuals any more needy or any less likely to be serving behind a pulpit?
I always cringe when we run into old high school friends. The question of what we’re doing now always comes up, and there is one response that we can count on when we share that Luke is a pastor—after the laughter dies down, that is.
“Luke, you are a preacher? And Lisa? You are a preacher’s wife?! Okay, joke’s over. Now what are you really doing?”
We would be offended if we weren’t just as baffled.
I forgive our flabbergasted friends because I can’t hold their excellent recall against them. They remember the dangerous combination of the wild boy and the bitter girl whose marriage was tumultuous at best. Surely, the future they envisioned for us was set in a divorce court rather than a sanctuary. They were within days of being absolutely correct.
There is no human reason why Luke and I should still be wed today, much less serving the body of Christ. Even though we were not yet believers, our union started off well enough. But we soon faced the heartbreaking yet all too common reality of many young couples: The stress of working different shifts, having more month than money, and living the separate lives that developed in the midst of it resulted in our parting ways and filing for divorce two short years after the ceremony.
I despised the not-yet-preacher, and the truth is I loathed myself as much as him. We had hurt each other in a million ways, and all I could think of was getting away and starting over. We were within a week of our divorce being final when one night I received a bizarre phone call from him. He told me he had started going to church and wanted us to rethink what we were doing.
I went off the deep end! I spewed, “So you are turning into a religious fanatic—and you think that is going to fix everything?” I was so full of hate and bitterness, and it still makes me blush to think of all the horrible things I said to him about his newfound religion. He continued, very patiently, to call and tell me he was asking God for a miracle as the clock ticked toward the day our marriage would be legally over.
One night during the critical week before the divorce was final, I had gone to bed, still convinced divorce was the only answer. For some reason, I woke up around two a.m. and the tears began to flow. I missed my husband so badly I could barely lay there. I remember thinking, “What is wrong with you? You cannot stand him! It’s almost over, just hang in there.” I realize now that voice was Satan’s, bent on thwarting God’s plan for us. If you ask me how I know prayer works, or how I know God can turn a cold, black heart into one that can feel love, laughter, and joy (Ezek. 11:19), I will point you to that night because it is the one that changed everything.
I called Luke the next day. One conversation led to another, and we called the lawyer to stop the divorce proceedings. I tentatively moved back home with him, and we began visiting churches. I was still not very thrilled about the “God thing,” but I knew for some reason I wanted my husband back and this would play a part. Would it ever!
One night soon afterward, my hubby came to me in our living room and told me he had just prayed for salvation. He’d gone to church his whole life, but it was only at that time he truly accepted Christ as his Savior. I grew up in a totally different denomination, so this Baptist way of doing things was a little traumatic for me. I was glad for him, but I still wasn’t so sure what that meant for me. For personal reasons, organized religion held no real appeal, so I was very afraid of how having my husband become so radically different was going to affect me and our life together. Seemingly out of the blue, I began having feelings of not being good enough for this new man, and shame over my own sin slowly entered my heart.
For me, salvation was not a lightning-bolt experience but rather an intellectual process at first. I needed to understand it. 1 Corinthians 1:18 says, “For the message of the Cross is foolishness for those who are perishing but to us who are being saved, it is the power of God.” I know the Spirit of God enabled me to believe what I was hearing because obviously I could have still walked away a scoffer. We were attending my husband’s childhood church, and the pastor became a dear friend and mentor to us both. He started a small group in his home, and I was able to ask all my questions in a very nonthreatening environment. That man was very patient with me as I asked everything from “What does ‘once saved, always saved’ mean?” to “When do you think the rapture will happen?” Sometime in the midst of those sessions, I realized I had already made a decision. That decision was for life—both for Jesus Christ and until-death-do-us-part with my husband. I asked the Lord to “officially” save me and soon afterward made that public in the body of people who had prayed so faithfully for us both.
If this had been the end of the story I would have been happily-ever-after indeed. Little did I know our tale was only beginning.
The Call
Over the next weeks, I watched Luke transform in front of my eyes. Where once stood a rough-around-the-edges construction worker, I now found a softened gentleman. Where turmoil had churned, peace now reigned. A thirst for the world was replaced by an unquenchable longing to drink up every bit of the Word that he’d neglected for the past years.
I’m in no way suggesting that a called minister is on a plane above any other Christian, but what I will say is that even in my own spiritually immature state, what I saw happening in Luke seemed to be so much more fervent than what I saw in other men. And as for my own walk, Luke’s desire made me long for more. If I can be so biased, Luke was special—an opinion I still hold.
I tell you this because I want you to understand that after Luke finally told me he believed God was calling him to minister, my head was shocked, but my heart wasn’t. Something in me perceived our life had taken a twist that surpassed simply returning to our old lives a renewed version of our previous selves. We both were experiencing intense restlessness in our jobs. I had just left an entire career on a lark. And Luke, who had always loved his trade and coworkers, began dreading the alarm clock every morning.
Have you ever read the book The Return of the King in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy? In the end Frodo the hobbit leaves his home, the Shire, after risking his life to save it. When explaining to his best friend, Sam, why he has to go, he says, “There is no real going back. Though I may come to the Shire, it will not seem the same; for I shall not be the same.” In much the same way, the dailiness of our lives had taken on a sense of not-quite-belonging in the place that had always been familiar. Accepting the fact that God was calling us to serve Him in some capacity was like turning a dial to the last number on a combination lock. The “rightness” of it clicked, and suddenly the future was wide open.
Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign
Luke and I began to pray and seek God for what He wanted us to do—definitely a first in our married lives. I have no biblical basis for what I am going to say next, but I believe God answers the prayers of baby Christians with a shout instead of a whisper. God has taught us how to discern Him more through prayer and His Word now, but in those early days He had to throw out the flashing neon signs before our own lightbulbs lit up.
The first two of those signs were named Al and Doyle. Both of these men mentioned the name of Clear Creek Baptist Bible College within two days of one another. Al had just returned from a Constructors for Christ project, during which they had built new one-bedroom duplexes for married students without children. Doyle was a longtime supporter of the school. These days I call that type of communication from God a double affirmation, but then we were still thinking, “Hmmm.… That’s odd. I wonder if we are supposed to look into this?”
And God was saying, “Ya think?” while restraining Himself from knocking our foolish heads together.
Luke hesitated contacting the school to request information because he had no hopes of getting in. What I’ve not yet told you is that he didn’t graduate high school. What dropout had any kind of chance to go to college? He finally mustered the nerve to call, and we scheduled a visit. We still didn’t know for what. Both of us realized we wouldn’t be able to go right away but thought maybe the school could give some pointers on what Luke could do to become a student someday.
We traveled to the college and were in love at first sight. The campus was set in the mountains and was absolute lush, peaceful perfection. Arriving there felt like coming home, which at the time was heartbreaking because we knew this place couldn’t possibly be in our near future.
The following day we met the director of admissions, Jay. He was and remains one of the most boisterous, joyful, encouraging people we have ever known. Luke explained his full situation—particularly the part about not having a diploma. Luke expected to hear, “Sorry, son, but you don’t belong here. Come back in a year or two when you are good enough.” Instead Jay chuckled and said, “No problem!!”
No problem? How is not having a high school diploma not a problem?!
Brother Jay enthusiastically went on to explain there was a special program in this college for men who did not have a high-school degree. They would take regular college courses and also be tutored for high school in the freshman year. Students had two semesters to pass the GED, at which point they would have official student status and all classes would count toward a fully accredited degree.
And just like that, there was Neon Sign Three, and it blinked wildly, “Road Open!”
One patient, gracious God gave us three signs in an overwhelming answer to our many prayers—and they all pointed toward our new home. (One of the homes Al built, no less!)
Absolutely Certain (I Think)
Well, enough about us—for now anyway! Since I’ve shared a little backstory with you, I’d like to talk about what I believe is one of the foundational principles of our lives as ministry wives: the nature of our own call.
I realize each of our inductions into a life of ministry was met with different levels of enthusiasm. It’s not every woman who looks forward to low salaries and high expectations. Of frequent moves and misunderstood children. Of criticism and conflict. These are just a few stereotypical pitfalls that can understandably cause a woman to put the skids on any plans her man has for serving in vocational ministry.
As Luke was processing the call God placed on his life, I was blessedly ignorant of all the things I just listed. My church experience was limited to a few years of attendance as a child, so I really had no comprehension of the chew-’em-up-and-spit-’em-out reputation of churches where ministers are concerned. Naïveté is not always a bad thing—especially when knowing all the details could result in being too fearful to take the leap into God’s plan for your future.
But what part do you play in what God is asking your husband to do? Has God called you in the same manner as him? My short answer is to state plainly that every wife has the God-given role of being a faithful helpmeet no matter if her husband is a banker, a mechanic, or a schoolteacher. However, there are unique challenges and more assured uncertainties for the wife who has the high charge of supporting a man directed to leave the familiar behind and follow God’s call into the unknown. What are some of those challenges, and how should we who find ourselves in this situation react? Let’s learn from someone who has gone before us—Abraham’s wife, Sarah.
A Woman Out of Control
We meet Sarah in Genesis 11:30 and are told simply, “[She] was barren; she had no children.” In the Middle Eastern culture, Sarah’s dignity was directly tied to her being married and having babies. Since she was childless, she would not have risked staying behind without her husband, no matter how unsure she may have been about Abraham asking her to leave Ur. There was nothing but shame for Sarah in Ur without Abraham.
And conversely, there was nothing in Canaan for Abraham without Sarah. It was out of Sarah’s infertility that God would perform one of His most awesome works—the miraculous birth of a nation consecrated to Himself. Abraham could have found any number of women who weren’t suffering from the heartbreak of barrenness to be his wife. However, the supernatural birth of Isaac was the requirement for properly illustrating God’s glory through human hopelessness.
Long before Abraham met Sarah, God purposed for the two of them to be the human agents through whom He would bless the nations. Neither of them could have participated in God’s plan alone—each needed the other. That concept is no different for those God continues to call today to spread the good news throughout the world.
When I think of all the quirks and hang-ups that Luke and I both have, it is amazing to realize that for the most part we do not have the same ones. Luke is painfully shy; I’m the social extrovert. Luke is compassionate to a fault where I am more critical. Luke doesn’t understand drama, and I am a master of it; therefore, I am able to help him comprehend the underlying issues women have when he has no clue how to proceed. God placed us together as a team to complement one another’s weaknesses and to nurture the spiritual children He has entrusted to our care. I have total and complete faith in Luke’s ability and he in mine, and yet neither of us believes for a second we could have any measure of ministry success without the support of the other.
To the reluctant ministry wife, I understand your fear. I know your need to have some input on how and where you are going to raise your family. Even the wondrous event of God entering into covenant with Abraham on the assurance of an heir was not enough to keep Sarah from trying to control the way in which the promised child would come into the world. And thirteen years later, Sarah laughed when they were told once again she would have a son. Abraham’s seed could only be reckoned through Sarah, and that required a separate faith on her part—a willing participation in what God purposed to accomplish through their son, Isaac. Sarah wasn’t perfect. She could be harsh and unbelieving and manipulative. However, Hebrews 11:11 tells us God gave her strength to participate in the creation and blessing of nations because “she considered Him faithful who had promised” (NASB).
My personal feeling is that we can make the idea of serving in ministry way more complex than God ever intended. In the case of Abraham, God promised children more numerous than the stars in the sky and the sands on the seashore, but He didn’t ask him to birth them all! He gave Abraham charge over one piece of that promise—beloved Isaac. Sometimes we can get so caught up in the enormity of what God is asking us to do that we forget the Big Picture is composed of individual frames of obedience. I’m guilty of shutting down physically and mentally when the job seems way too big—and all God has asked of me is to trust Him one day at a time. It’s much easier to walk into the unknown if we can focus on being faithful with what is required of us today, trusting God for His faithfulness in all our tomorrows.
It’s Simple, Really
Are we called alongside our husbands? Absolutely. Is the life we are called to complex? You bet. But, based on my personal experience and the example of Sarah, I believe we are asked to do three things that will simplify our thinking and therefore help us to not only accept but look forward to a certain future.
We are called to trust.
1 Peter 3:6 says, “Just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, … you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear” (NASB).
This verse is found in a passage describing how a woman’s beauty is to be found internally instead of externally (verses 1–5). Among other things, Peter describes how a woman should be in willing subjection to her husband, even if he is not a believer. Dread shouldn’t motivate her in yielding to him, but rather a healthy fear of God’s mandate to honor her husband. Sarah’s singular obedience was dually blessed. She wanted to obey God by following Abraham. God’s laws are not arbitrary and are not given without benefit attached. Sarah’s reward was the gift of inclusion into the blessing of the nations that God had intended through Abraham. If we seek to surrender our lives to God’s will through His call on our husbands, we will be given the blessed distinction of being a daughter of Sarah.
So what does this type of obedience look like in a minister’s wife? Certainly the amount of reluctance you are feeling towards this role will dictate the type of faith it will take to accompany your husband into the unknown. Hear me well when I say that no matter how much initial trepidation I feel when God asks something of our family, He has yet to call Luke to a task without also piercing my own heart. It is always heartbreaking for me to talk to ministry wives who do not express any sense of calling toward their husband’s work. The reasons are endless, but most often the wife incorrectly believes that his ministry is just another vocation and has nothing to do with her, or she absolutely wants nothing to do with a life with trappings holding no obvious appeal.
You may ask, “Is it wrong if I don’t want my husband to be a preacher? Can anyone blame me if I don’t want to leave what is comfortable and predictable? What if I don’t want to move away from my extended family?” And bigger still, “What if I don’t trust my husband to discern God’s voice?”
If you find yourself feeling this way, then it is time to look past your wants and even those of your husband and straight to the face of God. Ask Him what He requires of you. Are you willing to trust Him with your unknown? Are you willing to obey even if you believe your man has some static in his radio? I wish I had an easy answer here, but in reality these questions can only be hashed out in some sincere facedown time with the Father. Because I continually remember the comfort and reassurance He has offered me with these same fears, I can promise you He’ll invade your heart with a much-needed peace in the midst of the pain that often goes along with hard-fought obedience.
Luke and I had no idea in the beginning what our exact ministry would look like. Would we be missionaries? Would he be behind a pulpit? Would we work in a parachurch organization? We had no clue. In the same way, be assured you won’t always know every detail of what God is asking of you. However, though the what may be unclear, we can always trust the motivation of the Who. Our faith in His promises and the assurance of His continual blessing upon the nations through our obedience in spreading His Word is enough to follow our man wherever God leads.
We are called to participate.
Hebrews 11:11–12 says, “By faith even Sarah herself received ability to conceive, even beyond the proper time of life, since she considered Him faithful who had promised. Therefore there was born even of one man, and him as good as dead at that, as many descendants as the stars of heaven in number, and innumerable as the sand which is by the seashore” (NASB).
I can identify with Sarah on so many levels. Though she is heralded as a model of faithfulness, we know she behaved badly in her doubt. Just think about her side for a bit. God made these covenant promises to Abraham but never mentioned Sarah’s name once until she was ninety years old—some twenty-five years after God first appeared to her husband. She knew God promised Abraham an heir, and when the plan she hatched to speed that along resulted in Hagar’s pregnancy, Sarah may have felt left out by God entirely.
Are you like the girl in the beginning of this chapter who felt no one needed her? Do you ever feel left behind to cook, clean, and take care of babies while your husband spends the better part of his days ministering to everyone but you? Are you convinced he is having a blast crusading for the kingdom while you are stuck at home in the castle—as Cinderella no less?
Obviously the season of life you are in dictates to what degree you are able to participate in the work of the church. Listen closely, young mothers! Your ministry in this stage of life is to those precious babies in your care. If you have your own desires to serve in things such as women’s ministry, Bible study, administration, etc., your day will come. Some of you are able to soldier on and do these things in addition to caring for your toddlers, but many are just not able to do it all. And you know what? You aren’t supposed to. If you find your home is suffering and your kids are begging for your attention, then they—not church ministry—take absolute precedence. Never, ever apologize for making your family first!
My children are no longer babies, but I am just as busy with them in other ways. Diaper changing and bottle feeding have given way to homework and taxi service to whatever sport they are playing at the moment. Though I consider myself active in ministry, there are many things I don’t do. For example, I don’t always make it to the funeral home every time someone passes, due to the simple fact that I would have to bring my kids and I don’t particularly think they enjoy going any more than I enjoy having to get them dressed and wrangling them once there. I do have a tradeoff, however—I help with the meal if we are hosting one for the grieving family. The kids can hang out in a back room, and the stress is greatly relieved for them and for me. Not to mention our darling church ladies always fix the kids a plate from the leftovers. This is my way of letting the family know I love them, I care, and I am taking part to the best of my current ability without making myself crazy.
No matter if you are a seasoned ministry wife or a relative newbie, there is always one thing your congregation will pick up on loud and clear—your willingness to serve despite your inability. Do you work outside the home but do your best to participate in the body when possible? The church knows this and for the most part will understand. (Oh, there will always be exceptions!)
However, what they will not easily forgive is when you take a seat in the back and refuse to play a part—able or not. There are many women who are embittered by the demands the church has placed on their family’s life and time, therefore they refuse to support their husband’s ministry or the church body in any way, shape, or form. We’ll discuss in a later chapter the delicate balance between home and church life, but let’s just say for now that this attitude is extremely unhealthy and can be a huge detriment to your husband’s relationship with the church. The support the congregation perceives your husband receiving from you and your willingness to care for them even if you aren’t able to do all that you’d like is a bridge between their hearts and your man’s. Just like Sarah, your participation in his call is not only nice but necessary for him to effectively live out what God will do through him, whether you realize it now or not.
We are called to hope.
A life in ministry ultimately calls us to one thing: a hope for a greater glory than current circumstances reveal. I can’t think of a higher charge than the invitation to participate in God’s good intentions toward His creation. Sarah considered God faithful in His promises towards her, and because of that, she was able to look past the difficult years of childlessness and hold the manifestation of God’s blessing in her own arms.
Many years ago I watched a mafia movie (I don’t have any idea what it is called) where a gangster was teaching his young son about trust. The boy was on a ladder, and the father repeatedly told him to fall backward into his arms: “Don’t worry! I’m your father. Do you really think I’d let you be hurt?” The boy was more frightened of his dad than the fall, so he let go of the ladder. As he fell the dad stepped to the side and let him crash to the ground. His son stared up in surprised pain as the father said, “Never trust anyone.”
I think many of us have the mindset that God is the father who is setting us up for a huge fall and that we can’t trust Him to keep something painful from happening to us. The difference is He is standing in your unknown saying, “You can ALWAYS trust me!”
He never promises our lives won’t hurt, but you know what? He will always cushion us. Certainly there are hard days but in the midst of them you will find laughter, just like Abraham and Sarah. Sometimes those giggles you share will be born out of pure joy and at other times from incredulous unbelief. The thing to always remember is that you and your husband are in this thing together. There is no part of what God intends to do through either of you that isn’t intimately intertwined with the love and support of the other. God has appointed your husband according to his gifts, and your first priority as his wife is to affirm him in this role. However, many of you have desires for ministry that will involve taking off in your own direction. That doesn’t mean you supplant your hubby, but in the appropriate season, there will be many ways in which your own talents will broaden the scope of what he is able to do alongside you versus going it alone.
If You Say So
One of the coolest things about this book is the fact that these are not just my own observations! I mentioned in the introduction that I have a blog called The Preacher’s Wife (www.apreacherswife.com). Blogs are explained in greater detail in Appendix A of this book.
As part of the research for this project I asked a series of survey questions to the ministry wives who hang out with me online. (I’m excited to tell you there are a lot of them!) These Round Table discussions provide advice and encouragement from women who are serving in the trenches just like you. More than anything, I pray this book confirms the fact you are not alone in your circumstances, your joys, your struggles, or your opinions. I am so thrilled to introduce you to an online community of women who absolutely understand where you are coming from. I’ve also gathered comments from laypeople. I think it is imperative that we hear from both perspectives in order to understand one another’s hearts and hopefully build stronger relationships.
Now let me be clear: I am in no way saying that “virtual” friends should replace your flesh and blood ones. What I can tell you is that I have met many women in person that I’ve first made contact with online through my blog and they’ve become my dearest confidants. Blogs are but one fresh and relevant way to establish connections with women who will support you in your role as a ministry wife. We’ll discuss those various avenues in a later chapter centered on friendships.
For ease of identification (and to show off my excessive-texting-abbreviation skills), my blog friends will be known as the M2M Girls (as in, Married to Ministry Girls). Make sense? Let’s see what they had to share about their perspectives on calling.
Round Table
“I never wanted to be a pastor’s wife. When my husband felt called (before we got engaged) I had doubts. But, what God wanted and had planned was far greater than I knew at the time. He eventually convinced my heart to follow Him.”—Sarah @ Life in the Parsonage “I feel like my highest calling is to be my husband’s supporter, his encourager, his helpmate. I believe that my service in the home, especially at this season in our lives with small children, is the biggest call in that ministry. He could not focus on doing the greatest part of his calling—preaching the gospel—if I didn’t do mine.”—Crystal @ Life Is Nothing Without Him “As a layperson, I think it is obvious when a wife doesn’t share her husband’s passion for ministry. I don’t believe a pastor’s wife has to be everyone’s friend or attend every church event. But I do think you can tell by her general demeanor if she is ministry-minded. And, rightly or wrongly, the vibe I get from her reflects on her husband.”—Lori (layperson) “I felt a call to ministry years before I met my husband, and deep down I hoped that call meant I would marry a minister. My challenge came several years later when he started thinking about leaving the ministry and I thought, ‘Wait a minute. I married you as a minister, so you have to stay one!’ I came to realize that I was married to him—a person, not his title—and I would love him no matter what.”—Kecia @ Kecia’s Journey “I don’t know of any other occupation that my husband could have that would require me to be a part of the ‘package deal’ (for free) except the ministry. That took some getting used to!”—Sherry @ Life at the Parsonage “It’s easy to spot a woman who’s happy for and proud of her husband’s life/accomplishments/calling. It may not be easy for her to ‘follow’ when she is in the background with young children (early on), but she is proud of her man’s walk and character. That is a beautiful thing to see.”—Darnelle (layperson) @ All Things Work Together
Now That You Know:
How are you responding to God’s call on your husband? Seek out a seasoned pastor’s wife and ask her to share her experience with you for reassurance. Take the power away from the vague fears Satan will give you about the uncertainties you face by writing down what scares you. Search out the truth of God’s Word to apply to each. Afraid of moving away from family? Claim Matthew 19:29. Worried your family will not be provided for? Pray Psalm 37:25. Laypeople: Has a man in your congregation announced a call to ministry? He is often congratulated and much is made over his decision, but his wife may be struggling in his shadow. Take the time to encourage her by pointing out the gifts she has that will be an asset to him. If there isn’t a new minister in your midst, consider writing a note of encouragement to your existing pastor’s wife to let her know what a vital part she plays in her husband’s work.
I'm in my "fabulous fifties" and my husband and I have been married 25 years. We have a son and a daughter who are both in college. so we are reluctantly entering the empty-nest years. I was an RN in my former (pre-kids) life which comes in handy as I serve in our church's care ministry.
Chatting over a cup of coffee with a friend to encourage and support one another (and share a laugh or even a tear) is one of my favorite things to do.
